hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
