oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
