The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
