In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
