garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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