Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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