sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
