Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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