I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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