he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize