Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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