I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
