Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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