omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The struggles of a small town man whore
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize