I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
