if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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