Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
