My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
