So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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