I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think a kid would responsible me up
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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