Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
