You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
