can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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