Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Who died my cat blue again?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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