check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
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