Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize