Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize