I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
