go do what you do best...puke behind churches
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
