Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My pussy is not your playground.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
