Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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