I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
