Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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