Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
