I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize