singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
