Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
