On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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