This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
