for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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