How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think people are normalizing furries
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
