Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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