that's an acceptable place to lick
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
