So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
