It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
