I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Randomize
