I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
