I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
