What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
