No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
