I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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