fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
