Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
