Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
